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Jim Bouchard
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 2019
Location: , MA USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, December 08 2005 @ 11:28 AM CST

There once was a guy contracted to deliver a truckload of penguins to the zoo. He loaded the penguins into his pickup truck and set off in the morning to deliver the penguins but as luck would have it his truck broke down when he was still a considerable distance from the zoo.

While he was attempting to make the repair on his truck and not achieving much success at it, another fella with a truck passing by stopped and asked if he could be of any assistance. The first guy said, "I've got a truckload of penguins that I need to take to the zoo, but maybe you could load the penguins into your truck and take them to the zoo for me!" The second fella says, "no problem" and they proceed to load the penguins into his truck and off he goes!

It turns out this was a good thing because the first guy wasn't able to get his truck fixed for hours and he's sitting there waiting for a towtruck to come and get him, when along comes the second fella on down the road, still with the penguins in the back of the truck, but now the penguins all have sunglasses and towels! The first guy flags him down and exclaims, "I thought you were taking the penguins to the zoo!" The second guy responds, "I sure did, and we had such a good time, now we're going to the beach!"
The Composer
Forum Full Member


Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 442
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, December 08 2005 @ 10:21 PM CST

One of my other favourite series of jokes comes from one of my younger cousins... from when he was about 4 years old I think... you know, the age where they still don't understand how humour works and normally they turn out endless knock knock jokes that either don't make any sense at all... or make too much sense to be funny at all?

Well, my cousin had a series of jokes that my sister and I in stitches for quite a while... these may be jokes that you'd have to be there... but I'll try them out here:


Why did the cat go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!


Why did the dog go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!


Why did the bird go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!


Why did the fish go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!


Why did the mouse go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!


Why did the duck go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!



Why did the clown go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!



Why did the car go to the moon?

BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!



Why did the horse go to the moon?

Because he was dead?

No...... BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!




Needless to say his repotoire was huge... he had enough material to go on for hours.
ChrisSly
Forum Full Member


Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 259
Location: NYC, Baby!
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, December 08 2005 @ 11:57 PM CST

A Pirate walks ino a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his breeches.

The bartender, somwhat hesitantly, askes the Pirate "Sir, are you aware of the steering wheel sticking out of your pants"

The Pirate replies, "Arrrrrgh. I know. It drives me nuts!"

sometimes more feet than shoes.
SmokeyVW
Forum Full Member


Registered: 06/13/06
Posts: 7069
Location: N/A
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, February 20 2017 @ 06:49 PM CST

ah, to be young again.
Calchas
Forum Full Member


Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1286
Location: Salem, Oregon USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, March 02 2017 @ 11:38 AM CST

A Stephen Wright one-liner:

"Many folks are afraid of heights.... I'm afraid of widths."

:-)
jgurner
Forum Full Member


Registered: 05/20/04
Posts: 1957
Location: The Valley, Mississippi USofA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, March 02 2017 @ 02:33 PM CST

Quote by: Calchas
A Stephen Wright one-liner:

"Many folks are afraid of heights.... I'm afraid of widths."

:-)


"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
 
Calchas
Forum Full Member


Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1286
Location: Salem, Oregon USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, March 09 2017 @ 10:34 AM CST

Quote by: jgurner
Quote by: Calchas
A Stephen Wright one-liner:

"Many folks are afraid of heights.... I'm afraid of widths."

:-)


"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."



Ha ha!