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Became One_v10


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Description
This is a revised version. I took into account the feedback I received and made a few adjustments to what some people thought was an "annoying" shimmery guitar effect. I panned some stuff and put in a brand new vocal track. If anyone out there has listened to it before, please give it another try and let me know if this is an improvement.
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Lyrics
Hot summer sun loves cold winter moon
Flashes her eye and sings him a tune
A tune about love and pink summer skies
And diamonds that melt in her eyes

(Chorus)
What kind of world would it be
If day became night
How would we get any sleep
If dark became light
If the sun and the moon
and the moon and the sun
The sun and the moon
and the moon and the sun
Became one

Moon takes her hand
And twirls her about
Then pulls her close
And leaves her no doubt
That moon has a sweet
And warm beating heart
And now they will never ever part

(chorus)
Song Stats
Hits: 2253
Comments: 13
Fans: 1
Plays: 122
Downloads: 92
Votes: 4
Uploaded: Apr 11, 2006 - 03:52:20 PM
Last Updated: Apr 11, 2006 - 02:21:47 PM Last Played: Jan 17, 2017 - 10:41:13 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Gibson Hummingbird
Software:
drum loops
Comments
drakonis said 4145 days ago (April 11th, 2006)
sweet stuff
I like this better. I like your harmonies and voice. I like the alternating/
bouncing "Became one" between main and harmony vox, very cute. Nice
guitar playing too. There's some background hiss on the vocal track,
which just cuts off at the end, but that's hard to get rid of without good
mics and preamps... but you may want to slowly ramp down the
Garageband audio level on that track right after your last words (or turn
on some "Gate") to get rid of the hiss at the end. Cool bouncy song, nice
improvements.
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
bethrobin said 4144 days ago (April 12th, 2006)
sweet stuff
I just listened to a bunch of your songs. Very much fun. So inventive and original. Especially the dramatic readings which I have always found especially interesting. And of course, the ragtime songs are wonderful, feel good numbers.
I would love to hear more details on how you wrote the songs with the Harmony Assistant software. Do you play the piano at all? Midi Keyboard? And have you just figured out how to translate that knowledge into simple clicks of the mouse? Excuse me for being so clueless, but I am just so blown away by some of you macjammers out there. How the hell? is what I keep saying to myself. I would so appreciate any tips, clues, advice, demos, whatever, help!!! At this point I'm just figuring out how to get a good sound with the mic and the guitar, no easy feat. Making software instruments sound real is quite another story, but I am becoming convinced I need to buy some Jampacks fast.


Check out my latest song called Park With Me
drakonis said 4144 days ago (April 12th, 2006)
sweet stuff
Hi Beth, you'll find a huge array of different people with different talents and
different answers here, each one a fun long story in itself! As for me
answering some of those questions quickly here: I can't really play any
musical instrument, I have no real musical theory training, so I mostly drag
and drop notes one at a time onto a score on the computer with Harmony
Assistant, then when I'm happy with the music/chords, move the file to
GarageBand for final recording. I have a wide variety of musical tastes (as you
saw). Most of what I know, I learned by experimenting, reading, dissecting
other people's music, reading scores, downloading software & trying it, and
asking lots of questions of my SmartFriends(tm)... just like you're doing. It
has taken a couple of years for me to get this far after being "awakened" to
really wanting to create my own music, and having the hardware/software to
do it now. It is sooo much fun, I love the creative outlet writing music
provides me, even if I'm not all that good at it, it is fun to create and share
and learn and make friends along the way... sappy? Yup, that's me.
ttfn,
Drakonis

---
deja vu, it's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song: <a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/19437">Caroline's Bear Rag-Calliope</a>
Check out my latest song called Miwok
The Fritters said 4145 days ago (April 12th, 2006)
Yeah! Sweet!
Very good singing and writing, the guitar playing is immediate and just
the right quality for this sort of folk music, which is to say, not too
complicated, bouncy and loose. It's still not too polished, but I think that's
a good thing. The whole concept of this song is really great, and if I was
to pick out one more thing to pick on, it might be the drum loop, which
could be easily replaced by a shaker or a tambourine played by a real
person and the song would be almost a perfect little folk song. Very
enjoyable as it is.
Check out my latest song called Swingin' Door 2009
charliechen said 4145 days ago (April 12th, 2006)
Lovely
This is better, Beth, no question about it. I have little to add. So I'll just say thanks, and skip away happy.

Cheers.
Check out my latest song called Sparkles in a Lullaby
bethrobin said 4145 days ago (April 12th, 2006)
Lovely
Do you know that it's impossible to be sad while skipping? try it!
Thanks so much for your comments.
Being very new to this website, I was wondering if the proper thing would be to post this new song in the Forum. Is that how you get more people to listen and comment? or is the forum strictly for questions and issues?

Check out my latest song called Park With Me
charliechen said 4144 days ago (April 12th, 2006)
Lovely
I know what you mean about skipping. Most people think that children skip becuase they are naturally happy. That's probably true. But I believe in skipping when one feels down. It sure turns things around quick.

I'm new to this site, too. Two months to be more exact. I've seen how some people get criticized for starting forum threads asking people to listen to their songs. Some call it "pimping" the song. I think one strategy would be to post a forum thread asking about a particular technical or music related question that arose from the creation of yoru song. That way, you can direct people to the song without seeming too needy. But those who are quick to judge will do it anyway. So go with your instincts.

Back to the skipping.

---
Check out my latest: <a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/19895">here</a>.
Check out my latest song called Sparkles in a Lullaby
jie said 4140 days ago (April 17th, 2006)
like
miles better a lot clearer lovely. cheery
Check out my latest song called LORRAINE
VicDiesel said 4135 days ago (April 22nd, 2006)
Sweet!
This is such a sweet little song. A very 60s folk feel.

I also really like the arrangement. The drums are very simply but they
only need to accentuate the rhythm, so that's fine.

Good two-part singing too. Almost like there's only one voice. The
second guitar on the other hand is mixed too low. It doesn't contribute
much to the track, and only makes the listener wonder "am I really
hearing something there", so it's only distracting.

Now what is that annoying tone in the right channel? It sounds a bit
like a piano or organ, but it could be an artifact. You also seem to have
some problem with hum.

Ok, after listening to the track about 4 times I've found it: there is an
almost inaudible electric guitar. Somehow only one tone of it is ever
audible. That's my best guess.

Check out my latest song called East Texas Landscape
bethrobin said 4134 days ago (April 22nd, 2006)
Sweet!
Hi Vic, thanks for taking the time to figure out what's going on in this song. I
used a pre set shimmery guitar effect that I toned way down and even cut out in
some parts after the 1st version, but obviously you can still hear it enough to be
bothered by it. What I need is a more solid and pronounced electric guitar lead
throughout. The second guitar is my attempt at a bass line. Close, but no cigar.
The buzz is, well, just the buzz. I'm fiddling with dials and settings all the time,
so one sweet day, I will have figured out how to make a proper recording.
Maybe not this year, or even next, but someday, just you wait.
thanks again for listening.
Check out my latest song called Park With Me
announcer said 4103 days ago (May 23rd, 2006)
Good song ... Production errors
You have some good stuff here but some things could be corrected
even in GB. I don't know which track of yours has the hum in it, but it is
kind of distracting at the beginning and at the end. The music during
the song masks the hum (loud sounds always mask softer ones) so the
use of a gate or simply fading into and out of that track especially at
the beginning and end would clean it up. Nice tune. Good singing.
Check out my latest song called Blood Moon
Feter said 4030 days ago (August 5th, 2006)
Become One
soothin song ...wonderfull mood ... I m wonderin why
the percussion ? ..the guitar and the vocals carryin it
all ... I realy enjoyed it ...thank you !!
Check out my latest song called Roll with it
TobinMueller said 3967 days ago (October 6th, 2006)
Delightful tune
This is a delightful tune. In my ears, the rhythm track doesn't quite fit.
You Have a "boom-boom-chick" rhythm set up, and I think a simple
"boom-chick" or single up beat hit would be more effective; also, I hear
brushes instead of ticking sticks and bass drum, everything on a snare, to
match the lightness of the vocals. Very nice tune.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
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jie
Artist Info
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Name: Beth Robinson
Location: Kensington California USA
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Sweet and gentle west coast writer, Beth Robinson, blends her skillful acoustic guitar with a strong, clear voice on songs chronicling personal insights, often about members of the opposite sex. This life feels rich and carefully explored; one that l... [see more]

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