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California, Please TAKE 2


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Description
I recently spent a month in LA on business away from my wife and two kids and this song is the result. I originally posted another demo of it in which I used the built-in mic on my MAC and an out of tune guitar to record it. Once I got home, I re-recorded everything.

Since some folks enjoy the specs...I have posted them below.

Enjoy and please send any and all feedback. Positive or negative (I can handle it!)
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Lyrics
VERSE 1
Mission Hills you've been so kind
your sun is warm
your weather's fine
but I long for something green
and I'm missing Tennessee

CHORUS 1

So California, let me go
to the place I call my own
where I'll never be alone
California, Please

VERSE 2

A Ponytail bouncing in the breeze
a gap-toothed smile looking back at me
my baby calling after me
are the things I miss in Tennessee

CHORUS 2
So California, let me go
to the place I call my own
where I'll never be alone
California, Please

BRIDGE
I never knew
I was so deep in love
but it's true

SOLO

CHORUS 3

So California, let me go
to the place I call my own
where I'll never be alone
California, Please
I don't wanna be alone
California, Please
Please
California, Please
Song Stats
Hits: 2190
Comments: 24
Fans: 22
Plays: 88
Downloads: 42
Votes: 3
Uploaded: Sep 17, 2011 - 01:33:17 AM
Last Updated: Sep 17, 2011 - 01:49:43 AM Last Played: Feb 01, 2015 - 10:45:34 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
NoDerivs

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
My Ibanez AEB10 acoustic Bass, my Takamine FR350SM & Little Martin LX1 acoustics were the instruments. I captured the performance on my MACBOOK PRO using Garageband using a M-Audio Firewire 1814, a Nady PRA-8 and the mics were a pair of Behringer C-2's for guitars & an MXL 2001 on vocals.
Software:
Garageband
Comments
Skean said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
California, Please
Lovely so lovely, this goes straight in to the heart, love is the best we have. I love this, thanks for sharing downloaded.
Check out my latest song called Deep through the forest / W-particledots
rockstar89 said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
THANKS!
Thanks, Skean! Your words are kind and appreciated!
Check out my latest song called Here You Are
hackneybloke said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
california
derivative...but not in an offensive way. james taylor vibe going on....i like james taylor. very well produced and mixed etc. it was a bit predictable in where it went but that isn't such a bad thing because some like a well-worn path.

Check out my latest song called If Symptoms Persist
alackbass said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
California, Please TAKE 2
Beautiful song and excellent performance. The production is very good. The guitar tone is outstanding. Downloaded!
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
Symphony101 said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
It all sounds
so perfect ! Wonderful work !
Check out my latest song called Standing On The Brink (w/ Mosaica)
gadzooks said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
California, Please TAKE 2
Nice tune. Really enjoyed your playing and your vocals. Nice chord changes. Excellent clear production.
SG
Check out my latest song called Emoji
J.A.Stewart said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
Nice, Mellow Tune
Very nice sentiment and tune. The vocal is pleasant and rich and the music track is well-mixed.

I think the song might benefit from a little more musical variation and contrast... the verses and *choruses* sound very much alike, depriving your song of potential dynamics and power.

VERSE 1 and CHORUS 1 seem better suited as VERSES 1 & 2...

You current VERSE 2 is where I see potential for dynamic differences that could add some variety and interest to the song. And it seems a natural place, since the lyrics give more personal details about why you're missing Tennessee. Just my thoughts as I listen. ;)


--- Joe
Check out my latest song called Crankenhurst Challenge - Verse 1-7 (Inst. Break)
Ed Hannifin said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
I really enjoyed this...
In my opinion you did a really nice job capturing the acoustic guitar sounds, and blending them...The picked lines are nicely restrained, and the strums work well together...

Really solid vocal, and well recorded. Even the little shaker thing is just right.

And for me, this is a good example of focused songwriting. You're talking about one thing, missing home, which has to be in the top ten of most written about song topics, and probably always will be...You have the wisdom here to state your theme and elaborate it a LITTLE, but to keep it simple... So it all comes across...

Joe's suggestions are along the lines of what a producer would do to take it from excellent demo to ready-to-go-on-the-album level, but they wouldn't be worth thinking about if the song wasn't already pretty much there, and this one is...
drakonis said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
The most important thing
Family.

Wonderfully written lyrics, and very nicely played and sung. The mix seems slightly muffled (could use a little more high end, feels like the whole mix has some high end roll-off.) But other than that the recording is clear, the parts (guitar/vox/rhythm) are well placed and distinct. The performance is great.

ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Char said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
It's nice
to let your family know how much they mean to you and the rest of us can relate to that. Sweet song. Keep them coming. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called Bound, v2. w Music by Dirigent
tmcfate said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
great
folk rock feel. a bit of gordon lightfoot and the eagles. i really liike your voice as well. nice
Check out my latest song called Through the Wheels on the other Side
Corporal Beef said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
California, please
Simple and elegant. Beautifully recorded as well. I remember liking the demo, and this version is a home run. Thanks for posting.
Check out my latest song called (SRC 2013) SECCHI A CME0054
Jerry_Quinn said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
California Please take2
I like it and the laid back feel and the sentiments behind it.
Check out my latest song called I Had a Dream Last Night w/ alackbass & ktb
Soundhound said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
Well that was ...
Nicely done, a few dings never the less solid production good lyrics...

Make a good song....
Check out my latest song called Melded Universe....
Philip18 said 2201 days ago (September 17th, 2011)
Beautiful
I like everything about this one. You keep it all simple, but that suits what you're saying, which is straight from the heart. Warm vocal tone, clean guitar. It reminds me of lots of people in the singer-songwriter style. Thanks for the download!
Check out my latest song called First Night Alone
DarkPlanet said 2200 days ago (September 18th, 2011)
Just right
Really enjoyed the vocals and guitars as well as the thought out choices in song progession
Check out my latest song called Summer Glaze (With cchaplin)
PeterB7858 said 2200 days ago (September 18th, 2011)
Good post!
Nice sentiments and a gentle, easy listening tune. I like your vocals and harmonies and, as others have pointed out, the acoustics and spacial placements in the mix are very good. I too thought it lacked a bit of top end but that is easily fixed. Congratulations. Regards, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
MarkHolbrook said 2200 days ago (September 18th, 2011)
A great tune!
Enjoyed this second listen. I think I heard the first one. This would totally take off with a bass part and some change ups on the drums. I'd also love to hear the choruses made slightly different and the bridge sounds pretty much identical to the rest of the song. The slight changes either in drums, addition of guitars, vocal changes at these places would entertain the ear and serve to hook you back to the main theme!

Excellent work!
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
racerat said 2200 days ago (September 18th, 2011)
Cali
Very warm and enveloping. Have to agree with Drak that the mix needs a little more sparkle on the high-end EQ. All but the vocals seem to be a bit muffled. Keeps it warm, but sacrifices shimmer. Nice lyrics, well travelled territory. Very pro vocal delivery. you have nice pipes.
RR
Check out my latest song called Paper Thin
J_Gretch said 2199 days ago (September 19th, 2011)
California, Please TAKE 2
Enjoyed your song very much...You have a warm and pleasant voice,and the entire mix works well.
Check out my latest song called Only what you feel
TobinMueller said 2199 days ago (September 19th, 2011)
LA stays with you
I dig how your California mellowness unwraps the whole country feel. Really nice sound. I was thinking, though, that the Verse 2 could've used an additional instrument, some sort of variation in the accompaniment. And my ears really wanted variations the percussion track. But a very sweet, warm, well performed tune. Thanks for sharing this.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
papag said 2197 days ago (September 21st, 2011)
Cali time
Mellow "get me outta here" tune. I like the story. The guitar tones are sweet too.
Check out my latest song called Chinese Flutes (first draft)
Carrie71 said 2197 days ago (September 21st, 2011)
California, Please Tk2
Faved as soon as I heard the sweet voice! Oh my your vocals are amazing! Amazing song, much enjoyed!
rockstar89 said 2196 days ago (September 22nd, 2011)
THANK YOU
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I have posted a new song called 'Can I Count On Your Love.' Check it out if you get the chance.

http://www.macjams.com/song/70134
Check out my latest song called Here You Are
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