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the simon cowell song.


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Description
First I've posted on here for a while. It's a very short tribute to simon cowell. - written in Wales in 2014
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Lyrics
There are not many lyrics as they are just an excuse for a song.

So praise the Lord for simon cowell – fnar fnar,
He makes me cringe and churns my bowel – fnar fnar,
Exposing his cleavage he’s so out of sight,
And nobody talks such interminate shite.

His open shirt, reveals a squirt of something we won’t forget,
He makes those deals in Cuban Heels – he tweets on the internet,
So here’s to reality day after day, and here’s to absurdity getting it’s way.

Another singer takes the stage, we thought that we had enough,
Then simon’s wise and knowing eyes will educate us with stuff,
So here’s to reality day after day, and here’s to absurdity getting it’s way.

So praise the Lord for simon cowell – fnar fnar,
He makes me cringe and churns my bowel – fnar fnar,
Exposing his cleavage he’s so out of sight,
And nobody talks such interminate shite.

Organ outro.
Song Stats
Hits: 1219
Comments: 24
Fans: 14
Plays: 84
Downloads: 25
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Nov 25, 2015 - 05:24:19 PM
Last Updated: Nov 25, 2015 - 06:13:06 PM Last Played: Mar 15, 2017 - 10:40:26 PM
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Comments
hackneybloke said 637 days ago (November 25th, 2015)
simon cowell
what a ***t simon cowell is. what a horrible advertisement for a particularly trashy segment of our culture.
so....when i got alerted to a new song by woofer and that it was called 'the simon cowell song'.....i was over here in a flash, rubbing my hands together in anticipation.
so i'm gonna hit 'play' now....
this is fantastic....but i'm short-changed because i'm missing loads....please post lyrics asap.
ha ha....love the madrigal dirge ending....funny....clever.
a gem john...don't forget to post lyrics.

Check out my latest song called If Symptoms Persist
woofer3 said 637 days ago (November 25th, 2015)
thank you Julian
I'm pleased you enjoyed it, I'm systematically working my way through our present day culture and have written much tho I daren't air the majority of it for fear of upsetting the 'progressives'! hope you're ok. Will fish out the lyrics asap.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
kingbee said 636 days ago (November 26th, 2015)
svengali
he's the Larry Parnes of this century. Humourless dickhead he sees pound signs and not singing ability.
A joy as always to hear some new stuff from you ( why the long wait?)
Wade your way through popular culture and stick your tunes in there and to hell with the 'progressives'
Good to have you back
cheers
Check out my latest song called No expense spared
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
He's worse than Larry Parnes I think -
at least Larry Parnes left a few edible morsels! Apologies for my late reply - I seem to spend less and less time on the internet generally. Much of my recent material my wife is uncomfortable with me posting which I understand so they remain as just excises and experiments - more educational than anything - I mean for my own education. The progressives don't worry me personally. Hope you are well. Thank you for the comment and dare I say Merry Christmas.

Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
DWL said 636 days ago (November 26th, 2015)
He ate my hamster
I loathe him (Simon Cowell not you John)

Brilliantly done :-)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
I dislike him too Dick -
with his sneering and disrespectful puerile manner.Thank you for commenting and glad you like it. Sorry for late response too.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Narad said 636 days ago (November 26th, 2015)
the simon cowell song
Excellent stuff ! Muchly enjoyed ! Thanks ! :)
Check out my latest song called Serenade CCLXII
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
many thanks, much appreciated
just my way of letting off steam!
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
davisamerica said 636 days ago (November 26th, 2015)
Well tell me this
I am enjoying this one a lot and the curious though came to mind ... Who ... Sell Out album. Brilliant stuff as always .
Check out my latest song called ok char2(Vic and Flatrock mix)
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
Thanks for commenting
Glad you enjoyed it. More nonsense from me I'm sure.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
KCsGROOVE said 636 days ago (November 26th, 2015)
simon who?? :-)
very cool statement
yeah, tv nowadays is dominated by cowell types, onbly in it for the money. what a waste...
nobody does 'm like you woofer! :-)
very much enjoyed
KC
Check out my latest song called HEARTS ON FIRE
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
Thank you -
you are right over quantized and over anemic - appreiate your kind words. JJ.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
carbon said 635 days ago (November 27th, 2015)
simon says
"exposing his cleavage"... haha!
your harmonies are sounding great. fun song. thanks!
Check out my latest song called the long arc
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
Thanks for commenting-
glad you liked the harmonies, I mostly write them down to make sure they work as best as I can get them. My range is my biggest problem.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Philip18 said 635 days ago (November 27th, 2015)
The Simon Cowell Song
Very entertaining, John, but I think when Simon hears this you can kiss goodbye to a good score on "Britain's Got Talent". Cheers. Philip
Check out my latest song called First Night Alone
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
so sorry for delay -you Philip and to everyone -
who has been kind enough to comment - Philip 18 - I'm glad this kept you entertained as this is more important than anything else including the music even Zappa acknowledged this. I had already given up on the possibility of x factor success.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Dean-Resonator said 634 days ago (November 28th, 2015)
Simple Simon
Ha! This is great. You completely took me by surprise with this one John. I loved it. Keep up the fight.
Check out my latest song called Quiet Town
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
Thanks Dean
Glad you approve - rest assured I shall hold out to the very last round which I shall also save for them.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Daugrin said 633 days ago (November 29th, 2015)
Let's get personal Simon
Splendid, terrific fun, I laughed the whole way through, "here's to reality day after day, and here's to absurdity getting it's way." Instead of "it's" had you chosen the feminine pronoun I might have lost vegas nerve control and wet myself... Just saying, thanks for restraining yourself.

Daug
Check out my latest song called Hate Beret
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
Ah - dear Daug - thank you for your thoughts.
always welcome, glad it cheered you up.My restraint is sometimes unintentional as the song writing continues for sometimes up to years after the recording has been completed. I tend to write quite quickly and with not enough attention to lyrics due to my impatience. My songs are experiments at best I'm afraid and it's now mid day here. God bless.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
J.A.Stewart said 631 days ago (December 1st, 2015)
Forget the *X-Factor*...

Simple Simon of the Idle Rich provides the *Ex-Lax Factor* that churns our bowels. Our *Culture* has devolved into the intellectual equal of those we most often find in Petri dishes.

If there is a Hell, it most certainly must have been created for arrogant bastards like Impresario Cowell.

Nicely done, John. May your dirge accompany Simon down to his waiting throne in the... churning bowels of Hades! ;)

--- Joe
Check out my latest song called Crankenhurst Challenge - Verse 1-7 (Inst. Break)
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
The churning of the bowels -
sometimes produces a little 'turd' now I come to think of it and often soft in it's consistency though our Simon is only consistent in some respects of the word.Thank you JA for your kind words.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
jiguma said 631 days ago (December 1st, 2015)
Fnar fnar indeed!
What a brilliant piece - would have liked the vocals up a bit - they deserve it - but fantastic anyway.
Cheers from Oz,
Neil
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
woofer3 said 623 days ago (December 9th, 2015)
Fnar fnar
Clumsy doo-wop maybe? I've used it several times - it's a good two silly bull word. Thank you Neil.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Genre Info
The terms alternative rock and alternative music[1] were coined in the early 1980s to describe punk rock-inspired music genres which didn't fit into the mainstream genres of the time. At times it was used as catch-all phrase for rock music from under

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